I was coming back from a 3 day trip from Kuwait. At the airport there, I went to the smoking room to smoke. It was near the gate , so that was pretty much my waiting area. A beautiful guy walked in. Yes, BEAUTIFUL. He had blonde hair, Madonnas sunglasses, tight Jeans and a body shaped like a model ( female). He looked like a woman. He spoke in the Gulf ( Khaleeji Accent), and I will not go into where he was from. He was gay. With him was his “friend”. Most of us in the smoking room, stared in shock and he loved it. This is incident 1.
5 years ago, I went to a barber shop in Sulaimaniyya. The “asian” barber asked me if I was married. I said no. He asked if I had a girlfriend, I said no ( I never liked the idea of dating or having girlfriends – I just wanted to get married and Thank God I am now and have a son). He asked me if I would like to see him dressed as a woman. LOOOOOOOL!!! HAAA!.. I laughed so hard that day. But, as I left, I thought : this guy really meant it. This remained a joke for a long time. Incident 2.
Last week, I was standing outside near my car. I saw a guy walking towards my car. He wore small shorts, and a tight T Shirt. He was tall and well-built. From far away , he looked like the typical Saudi, Indian or Pakistani coming back from a jog. He had decently shaped long hair. All was cool until he came closer. He was wearing Mascara. He was totally feminine. He stared and he smiled.. and I am not stupid – I know a gay guy when I see one. He was either Indian or Pakistani – I would vote Indian because of certain mannerisms ( not the feminine ones). Astaghfuruallah, I said.. he walked on. Turning back every now and then and slowly disappeared into the street. Incident 3.
These are 3 incidents that I have witnessed here. In the first one, there was not much I could do. The second, I laughed it away. In the third, I was just disgusted. But, today I think this: WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON???
Why is this on the rise? What is wrong with our society? What is causing homosexuality to be so OPEN and so THERE?
Where is the Haiya? I wanted to call them and report this. But, what shall I say? Hello, Ya Shaikh, Guess what? I saw gay people? I have no proof and I am definitely not going to venture into getting it. I am just saddened by this. What is happening to these people? Long time ago, I met a guy in DQ at an office. I could have sworn that this was a girl wearing a thobe and shemagh. Honestly. What is “feminizing” these men? Is it food? Is it rebellion? What is it?
For years, I have been shouting and writing and talking. MAKE MARRIAGE EASY! MAKE WIVES AVAILABLE FOR YOUR MEN! ALLOW LABOR, ANY MAN to BRING HIS WIFE WITH HIM HERE. DO NOT SEPERATE THEM. DO NOT. ENCOURAGE MARRIAGE IN EVERY WAY. MAKE IT AS EASY AS GETTING A MOBILY SIM! I mean , guys, for the sake of GOD! What do you lose if you give family visas? Come on now! It helps the economy! I beg you, put a stop to this.
You know what is going on? That Guy at the Kuwait airport, he has a lover… his “friend”. That “asian” barber! I am sure a few guys asked him to dress up , that’s why he had the guts to ask me this. That “Jogger”.. he was out to be picked up! I am sure he HAS been picked up a few times, that’s why he had the Mascara and the Loreal Confidence! UFF!
Now, this is the kind of thing one does not expect here. Well, we are not used to it. I saw plenty of gay people in Cyprus and all over the world. I have had debates with them and convinced many to change their “preference” . It makes no sense. It is not natural. It is not something they are born with. All those stupid justifications are made by old gay men with degrees. I don’t want to get into the Science of it right now, but I assure you – I can PROVE that this is not Natural NOR good. Either way!
And, what’s happening here is mostly out of desperation! Segregation is fine but not to this extent where people become SO perverted!
Promote Marriage. Promote Family. Make it Easy. Old Buddies, please lose the high dowry and ” You cannot marry my girl” attitude. Come on guys, time to be Grandpas. Do it!
Let people fall in love ( men and women – any nationality, any race) and let them bloody well get married whenever they want. Why do you stop it?
Guys: Marry 4 women.. it is ok!
2 thoughts on “3rd Kind”
A controversial post! I agree and disagree with several of the points you’ve made.
Firstly, let me disagree with you that all homosexuals are not born homosexual.
I can certainly see why some men in societies where mixing of the sexes is severely restricted end up turning to their own gender for tenderness and pleasure. As you have implied, the desire to love and be loved is a natural impulse. It’s well-documented (and not invented by old gay professors) that some straight men in prison turn to each other for intimate relationships. One partner usually assumes the dominant role, the other the submissive role. It sounds a bit like husband & wife, no? It’s a way to stay sane in very lonely circumstances.
It’s not difficult to see parallels between that situation and what a lot of young men here have to go through, a choice they have not made, but is forced upon them by the invisible force of Society. During the teenage years, hormones are racing through a guy’s bloodstream. Guys at that age (and beyond…) have one-track minds. They think of little else. Yet there is no outlet for those feelings that they want to share with girls. Who can they turn to?
I worked for 3 years in the Qatari secondary school system. Such ‘husband & wife’ relationships were fairly common, though not spoken of. A student would arrive at the classroom door, call out a buddy, and they’d both disappear to the bathrooms for twenty minutes. I once saw a couple come casually strolling out of the bathroom, down the corridor, give each other a peck on the cheek, and then back to class.
The difference is that, in an effort to preserve his sense of identity, the ‘husband’ will only perform the normal sexual role of a man: the penetration. As such, he does not consider himself to be homosexual. He is not in the submissive role of the ‘wife’, the woman. To be submissive would be contrary to the traditional strong role of the man – it’s a global idea, but gender roles are particularly rigid in this part of the world. Just ask any long-suffering Khaleeji woman. Except you can’t – it’s haram!
When you state that homosexuality is neither natural nor good, are you implying that it is explicitly forbidden in Islam? Of course it is, it’s forbidden in all major religions that I know of. But, the fact is that that has never stopped anyone from following their carnal desires in private. In public, it’s a different matter. It’s the same the world over. Only perhaps in the most liberal cities of the world could two men, or two women, show physical affection in public without fear of attack. Say, San Francisco or Amsterdam. But it’s completely normal for Arab and subcontinental Asian men to hold hands in public as a show of friendship.
Like you, I have been approached by desperate lonely men during my eight years as an adult in the Gulf. One was an Indian, another a Filipino, yet another was a toothless old Qatari who grabbed at my penis in broad daylight on Doha Corniche. I’ve heard countless other stories too. My own father had a Qatari stalker for years! Your appeal to the Haiya made me laugh. I have it on authority from the former director of the British Council in Qatar that a gay friend of his actually picked up one of our long-bearded friends on a night cruising the streets of Riyadh. In Wilfred Thesiger’s ‘The Marsh Arabs’ (about the lives of Iraqis who used to live around the mouths of the Euphrates and Tigris rivers), he describes the custom of young dancing boys used at celebrations as sex toys for the adults. Another friend tells me that he knows of a North African expression: “A woman for duty, a young boy for pleasure, a melon for ecstasy”! And let’s not forget, without naming names, that there is one current leader of a Gulf country who has never married and has no successors, male or female. If you don’t know who, or where I’m talking about, find out for yourself.
Ali, homosexuality has existed forever. And it always will exist. Just because something is secret, or forbidden, it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist. Before we start calling the act of two men in sexual congress ‘unnatural’, why don’t we consider the circumstances that lead to such an act first. We may find that segregating men and women is equally unnatural too.
The other side of the coin is the poor straight women who are married to avowedly gay men. The men may have been married off to avoid embarrassment to their own fathers and mothers. See! He’s married! How can he be gay? A woman gets to a certain age and the pull of motherhood is overwhelming, yet she may never have shared her body with her own husband because he’s physically incapable of being aroused by women. Talk about prison!
My best friend in the world is gay. He’s not into dressing up in women’s clothes, or mascara, or outrageous behaviour. That kind of thing is simple attention seeking, and it annoys me as much as any loudmouth idiot would, straight or gay. My friend is as normal-looking as a man could be. He’s slightly scruffy, overweight, likes the good things in life. When I first met him, he had a girlfriend. In his early twenties he finally admitted what he had denied to himself: that he preferred men. All I could think was, “So what? It’s none of my business what you do with your own body.” It isn’t, any more than I would tell him what to spend his own money on. It doesn’t affect me. He’s happy, I’m happy. And no, he has never tried to get me in to bed with him.
Ultimately, humans are humans. We are sexual beings. Nobody is ever going to stop another human being from doing what they really want to do. No culture, tradition, national border, morality police, laws or family pressure will either.
Even the realization of self will not? It will. I agree that it could be something biological. It is a confusion of the self to share what kind of love with who. The incidents I am talking about are the result of segregation to the extent of even making marriage an issue, social pressures and basically low self esteem.