Killing: them or yourself?

A 20 year old guy walks in a school and kills 27 innocent human beings. 18 of them kids between ages 5 and 10.
Target killings daily in Karachi.
Israeli soldiers killing innocent kids and families in Gaza by the order of their own government.
Massacre of Muslims in Mayanmar.

List goes on and on. Either psychos or uniformed men or angry mobs..someone is killing someone somewhere each day.

Its a tragedy.

Death is not tragic. It is a transition. Another growth. Killing is tragic. The act. The person killing is destroying their own life while the killed has grown and entered another phase of life. Their torture may have ended and replaced by joy but the killer’s torture starts the day he/she kills. Existence for them will be a burden and death is never the end. We do not seize to exist. So, we get ‘away’ with nothing. And that’s why killing is tragic. The killer WILL meet the Killed one day.

Back in 1995, when I opened my first office at Nicosia, Cyprus.. A british gentlemen came to me offering high tech security equipment that he wanted us to Market in Saudi Arabia and Pakistan. He looked rough and tough and pretty cool.

I had interest in what he was selling. It was good stuff. But, working on selling these things meant a lot of work and preparation. And, because of this, we had to meet often. We became good friends though he was much older.

Over time, he started sharing his thoughts and concerns. He was never married and was in a relationship with an about to be divorced british lady. To me, he was having a ball..but, yet, he seemed to be depressed also.
So, I asked him one day. And, he poured his heart out.

This man, my friends, was a hit man. He was a mercenary. He had killed many people. Targeted and killed. A real killer. And now, he had retired and wanted to marry and live. He was 47. He told me that he wanted to be normal, but he could not be. His past kept haunting him. He had spent all the big money he had made from killing people.

I was shocked. He made me swear I would tell no one, unless he died.
He was never at rest. Always awake. Drinking or working. Lost.

This was his last attempt to build a normal life, according to him.

Elmos Konis, my dear friend and professor from college had by now joined hands with me in creating our project: culture mix products. One day, Elmos ( I would call him sir, but he told me to start calling him by his first name the day I graduated..best professor!) was at the office and my British friend showed up. I introduced them. He discussed his products and plans with Elmos and left after a while. Elmos said this to me: Ali, this guys products are nice. But, mark my words..he has a death wish.
I wondered what he meant by that. He said, he could feel people, and this is what he felt.

Soon, I had to give up on trying to sell those security products. The legislation and issues were too many and it was not worth it. I called the man and told him so.
“So, what next?” I asked
” Well, I live on the third floor and jumping off the balcony seems tempting”

I told him to rethink that option, half joking. I told him about Allah and submission. I told him how there is forgiveness and mercy for those that submit. He kept saying yes yes yes. ” Will pass by and meet you soon dear Ali”, he said.

A week passed.

It was Saturday.

I sat in my office, 9 am. Coffee and computer and smokes. Beautiful weather.

Ema, the office building secretary walked in. Old lady who loved lecturing us! She put the newspaper on my desk and said, ” your UK friend is on the front page”, and she left.

I opened the paper and there it was: his picture. Dead. Hung from ceiling.

He had not jumped off the balcony, neither had he submitted. He had hung himself and died…

Allah says: when you kill a person, it is like you have killed mankind.

Yes, mankind..including yourself.

God Bless and protect all of you and your children.

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