The Angry Birds

Men of the recent past did not do what men of today do. Men of the two previous generations worked hard and were not so sensitive to little children and women. They were to be served and they were. They had their own agendas and family was to follow.

Of course, I am talking about the men in the Middle East and South Asia, regions I have been exposed to since birth. But, I have also grown up with lots of westerners and yes, the men were different from what they are now in western societies too.

Women of my mother and grandmother’s times also had a lot to do. Look after several kids, wash clothes with hands, hardly get to see their own families ( true for many even today but not really..we have SKYPE!), cook big meals, either never had TV or if they did – few channels if not just one. They had to do a lot. No long hours of sleep. Not a lot of what women today have.

Men today earn more,give more and are much more sensitive. They are especially loving towards their children. A child today says ‘baba’ first. We said ‘mama’ first..
Men today work much harder and provide a lot more luxury and time to their families. Many don’t even demand their wives to cook and clean. Communication between husband and wife is very different. Men are caring even if they express differently..much more then the previous generations.

Women have homes with all amenities and even maids. Women today don’t have a child every other year. One or two for the majority. Look around. Smart phones, laptops and access to any of their relatives is a click away.

Then, why is there so much complaining? Why to the extent of protesting on global media? Why do I see so many women doing everything to be public figures? What voice does the world need to hear?

Please don’t get me wrong. I am genuinely curious!

Why are women in our societies angry and ready to fight for a cause which is not really a cause? What is the cause, in fact, if there is a cause? I understand raising a voice against discrimination, rape or oppression.. But, honestly, are most men oppressing their wives? Men of today? They get tears in their eyes if their child falls..they do everything to provide the best homes, transport, entertainment, luxury to their families. A majority does anyway. Heck, most men that smoke don’t even smoke at home because their wives don’t like it. This was not the case in our previous generation, yet those women never complained and even today, in their old age are smiling and doing All that they used to do. No, I don’t know any lady from my mother’s generation suppressing herself and not expressing what she feels. Most are contented.

Why are the women of our generation so distressed and unhappy even if they have no housework and just a kid or two? And, while they have all means and ways to be with their families and have husbands that genuinely care and are open to any discussion?

Are we an ungrateful generation of people that regardless of all the comforts we have, we are unhappy? And even more, most of us don’t really know what more we want!

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25 thoughts on “The Angry Birds

  1. Dear Ali,
    I think you have answered your own question when you mentioned TV and the latest communication technology. With the satelite TV and Internet, women are aware of different lifestyles around the world. They see women driving cars, traveling alone if they wish to, choosing their life partners as they please; they see women equal to men under the law and true partners in marriage. No dishwasher or any other kitchen appliance can satisfy the desire for that kind of freedom and personal dignity. As for the satisfied women of the older generation: they were brought up with the idea of man’s superiority and conditioned to obey. They brains are too rigid to consider any other kind of thinking. Also, don’t take their smiles at face value: under that satisfied attitude may hide a lot of suppressed anger. I have noticed that in strongly patriarchal cultures around the world, women direct that anger at other women, usually their daughters-in-law or their servants. Men are mostly unaware of these undercurrents.

    • Thank you for your comment.. Are women not doing that everywhere? Except for Saudi, women drive everywhere else. They have all other freedoms too – like making their own choices. I am trying to say that regardless of what is available or not, why complain? There are so many other wonderful things a mind can focus on..male or female.. I just wish all people remain happy:)

    • Birds? Calling women ‘birds’ is the problem. That and words such as ‘demand’ imply you want to continue with a patriarchal society. Women’s unrest isn’t about technology or luxuries and it’s not about men. It’s about the needs of women.

      Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs states that self-actualization is the highest need….reaching full potential, being what a person can be and must be. That could be a parent, an inventor, an athlete, or a goat herder. But it’s the woman’s choice, not her father’s, brother’s, or husband’s. Undercurrents? You poor men have no idea what’s coming.

      • You see I totally agree about self actualization.. But, it can be reached with whining. History proves that matriarchal societies don’t last. They cannot. What this approach of ‘I am 100% equal to a man’ does is that it increases the population of single women and reduces the formation of real families. The concept of ‘mother’ starts to diminish and that leads to collapse of society and nations and that exactly what’s happening. A man does not want a man like woman so they will just stay away.

        My great grandmother was a great designer, organizer and healer AND very rich. She managed our palace that housed over 200 people and she supervised all 3 meals a day while she had over 7 kids that grew up to be remarkable people..but my great grandfather remained the master of the house. And, no..our women were never rude to their daughter in laws and daughters. You see now, there was no competition, there was proper understanding of roles and natural functions. The state of women today and in this so called ‘growth’ is only one: they are unhappy. I would not seek to be a labor if I am given the life of a king. I would be silly to do so.

      • Disagree with reaching self-actualization with whining. That just pisses people off.

        Women are equal to men, just equal in different ways. It’s like yin and yang…two pieces that fit perfectly together as your grandparents seem to have lived. Women don’t want to be men (well, some do but that’s a whole other topic) they want the same rights, pay, freedom of men. Have you read ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’?

        Are you serious? A palace with 200 servants? I can’t even imagine.

      • Not 200 servants, inhabitants.. Relatives. Must be many servants too. Yes, Bhopal House of Lucknow.. My great grandfather was Nawab Ali Hasan of lucknow. Indian Empire was built on Rajas, Royals and Nawabs.. Ahh..but that’s another tale I shall tell one day:)

      • Not trusting my memory just checked the web and Cliff was indeed born in Lucknow. How the hell can I remember that factoid from the 60’s yet can’t find my iPhone?!

      • *without..

        Not calling them birds.. Just thought it make a nice title.. You are welcome to call me a bird too. Falcon would be good:)

        Honestly though.. Women in the west have reached a different level. Its women here that remain unhappy and I wish they were just happy.

      • OK, Falcon. I’m a bald Eagle, of which we have hundreds where I live. I once asked a class of young women in Saudi what they wanted. I thought North American women were aggressive and independent!! They want education, career, travel, driving. Not one mentioned marriage and when I asked they said it would have to be a man who would let them be themselves. They wanted to marry for love. Methinks they have watched too many Hollywood/Bollywood movies.

      • I love Bollywood movies – so outrageous, so predictable but love the music and dancing. Fortunately, our community has many Indian and Pakistani immigrants so our theatres show them. Woot!!

  2. Ali – just read your reply to Iva. I, too, want people to be happy but happiness is different for everyone and is complex. And is it happiness or contentment, respect, safety, or love….back to Maslow. I remember my uncle saying the best time of his life was in a fox hole in France in World War 2 sharing cigarettes with his buddies. He was just happy to be alive. For me, sunsets and sunrises, the laughter of my children, what i fought for – and won – in my career. And happiness changes as one ages. Now I’m happy to just have a pulse every morning.

  3. Narrated Ibn ‘Abbas: The Prophet said: “I was shown the Hell-fire and that the majority of its dwellers were women who were ungrateful.” It was asked, “Do they disbelieve in Allah?” (or are they ungrateful to Allah?) He replied, “They are ungrateful to their husbands and are ungrateful for the favors and the good (charitable deeds) done to them. If you have always been good (benevolent) to one of them and then she sees something in you (not of her liking), she will say, ‘I have never received any good from you.” Sahih Bukhari, Volume 1, Book 2, Number 28

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