Everyday, I hear of friends that got divorced. Children that were left wondering what happened. Couples fighting.
When I was getting married and I went to the court to get a date for “Aqad” , there were two lines at the counters. One for marriages, one for divorces. The “divorces” line was MUCH longer. Sadly.
I see men absolutely crazy about going away from a nice wife and wonderful children for the “weekend” to neighboring countries for “work”. What they really do is clubs and a variety of women. Almost everyone’s wife suspects, cries alone and suffers. Many find out and either live in despair or start doing what they could never possibly dream of doing. Homes are destroyed. Simple disputes led to huge assumptions which led to grudges and reactions and then real actions.. and then consequence.
I truly believe that the Devil works over time to make the family system collapse. His mission: Destroy families through fornication and negativity and this will make society collapse and thus chaos. Chaos will cause lots of bad deeds to go around. Killing, rape.. anarchy. And this will lead to detachment from God. And , that is what the devil claimed he could do.
You think you are a simple enough family? Mama, Papa, kids? Why would the devil want to cause anything to you? He would. He does.
Think about it. When was the last time you had a fight with your husband/wife? What did you guys fight about? The damn spoon he forgot to put in the sink? Or how she cracked a stupid joke? And did that fight not come to a point where you both absolutely decided that this marriage was not on? It did. But then, the whole episode was forgotten the next day only to be brought up in a later fight. :D
Look back. The whole thing was stupid. Even though it seemed so “serious” at the time. I bet that during this fight you both even threatened to find other people. The threat of fornication. Mr. Devil played you guys like puppets. But, something always happens and he does not succeed with everyone, while with many.. he does.
Most of the negativity is based on assumption. On emotion. On anger. Most of the words spoken are in disgust caused by a misconception. By frustration. Frustration is caused by ignorance. Ignorance exists because not all of us take time out to analyze and understand our own minds. Most of us have not even touched the surface of their own minds and souls. Most of us just follow “ways of the world”.
Think of the time you were ABSOLUTELY angry at your child and you scared the jeepers out of him/ her with your scream? Look back. It was not needed. Really. A simple cuddle and hug.. a few words of affection would have done the job. But , you did not have time to STOP.. THINK .. Evaluate.. and then utter or act. You went ahead and let it out.
If there is at least ONE person in a household that has this ability,peace is ensured over time. And this person is the greatest enemy of Mr. Devil.
” A family that prays together, stays together”.. a famous quote. God says this too. Family is vital. Important. Family is strength. We can never be independent of family. We can never be ONE. Only God is ONE. We cannot be God. We are human and we are weak and we all need each other. And , we must admit it.
It is normal for people to disagree, fight and argue. It is up to them to take it to any level. Be it cursing or physical attack. It is also up to them to fix it. Prayer. Most vital. Reflection. Understanding and above all Patience.
I often walk into my building and here shouts from some apartment or the other. It is either Daddy shouting, or Mommy cursing or the Teenager being difficult. Every family has these moments of weakness. And, the Demon at home gets to work. There is a demon in every home. The enemy is within.
I grew up in a joint family system. I know bliss and I know hell. I know how this can be so much fun and I know how it can cause hatred forever. And, I have sought solutions in my solitude later as I got time on my own. How do you maintain peace at home. I have learnt things from my Quran and the life of our Prophet Muhammad PBUH. I have understood the levels to which we can rise and the depths in which we can fall.
Here are a few tips:
When you enter your home:
1. Step in with the RIGHT foot
2. Say ” Salam Aleykum” Loudly
3. Say Bismillah Ar Rahman Ar Raheem
4. Wash up/ do Wudu
5. Pray , if it is time for prayer.
6. Be the first to avoid an argument..Don’t wait.
7. Remember.. Silence is golden.. but you must express fully to your partner..
8. Be very patient with kids.
These are just some basic things you can do. If you are not muslim, you can still live in a blissful home.. be sincere and search for solutions. You may already have many.
Yes, friends.. to conquer the Demon at home, you must sacrifice your ego.
May all of you find peace.